Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I'm still here. I know it's been a long time. I guess I've been so busy with writing other things that I haven't been writing on my blog but I'm correcting that today with some creative news.
I am happy to announce that the CD I've been working on for the past year is finally finished. The album is called Wounded Woman and has seven original songs with back-up guitars, drums, vocals, and a cello in one song played by none other than my great brother Ben. I'm really happy with the CD and think it's kind of a miracle I could even do it. I never set out with the purpose of recording an album and I'm certainly not trying to make it big now. It just happened and seemed to pour out of me in a way I've never experienced.
Those who are pretty close to me know what a difficult year the last has been for me - probably the hardest to date and for many reasons. It wasn't just because of a boy but that certainly ignited the internal upheaval. I guess I need to give that heartbreaking boy a special thanks since he's the one who got me started playing the guitar and made the CD possible. If there's one thing I've learned from this it is that good can come from any situation, any loss, any obstacle. Whatever darkness comes, there is always light to be found. I found much of mine in creating this music. It was a way to make some meaning from the chaos in my mind and heart, it was an outlet, a way to express and alleviate the things I could not understand. As a story-writer I always want a resolution, a pattern of meaning that I can look at and see the design from beginning to end. I lost the concept of that in my own life - which I know is the point, right? Faith and all that. But it's still hard and I find myself more than ever feeling a little lost and still not understanding many things. It's really true what my dad says: the longer you live the more questions you have and the fewer answers. So, in this state of not having any answers or certain resolutions I give this CD. Creating something from the experience is my answer. Imperfect as it is, certainly not Simon Cowell material, or meant to pander to popular taste, it just is what it is, from a truthful place and an attempt at doing something I never thought possible. Life can always bring new dreams. For me, the greatest thing about this music album is what it represents: That something good, some kind of light could come from something so dark. That is truly hope and that is a miracle to me.
I'm going to have a little CD release party on June 27th and play the songs live and at some point I'll probably put them on itunes. I'm just happy to share with anyone who wants to hear them - wounded or not, woman or not (and I have to say the songs aren't bitter or angry woman songs either). It's just about a journey, and I must say what a fun experience it's been to sing about this journey. And thank you Brian Bingham for helping me produce and record this music! It's been invaluable!