Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Kicked Out of My Life

So I know it's been awhile (hmm...6 months) but I'm back and re-committing myself to be a better blogger for anyone who cares. So here's the latest...
After the door slammed shut on my job, my place to live, and other opportunities in which I had invested a lot of hope (and all within the process of 3 cataclysmic November weeks) I decided to take a break to a place where the sun never lets you down - good old California. My brain was already foggy from trying to figure out what the universe was trying to tell me by all these major shifts coinciding together leaving me completely perplexed. Apparently it's time to start over again, time for a new chapter or by now maybe a new book. What that next phase will be, I'm trying to determine.

I thought going to California might help me figure that out. It was great to visit LA again where the temperature was in the 60s compared to single digits in Utah. My brother Ben came with me and we stayed with my old roommate Marcella who is leaving LA this month to go to school in New Mexico. It was fun driving up PCH and stopping at a cafe on a private beach where I ran into a colorful bartender I worked with in Beverly Hills when I was a hostess. He's the guy who without fail said to me every shift, "I'll give a dollar if you kill me." I told him I wasn't going to jail for a dollar. Ah...those were good times.
While there we also covered Sprinkles, running at Marina Del Rey, and my personal favorite - only to be found in Los Angeles - Hunky Santa and the Candy Cane Girls! I guess it's been going on for 9 years but this was the first time I'd heard of it. We were close enough to the Beverly Center mall that we figured, why not? In my opinion Santa shouldn't have a 6-pack but Hollywood doesn't agree. We also celebrated our 4th annual Advent Sunday to ring in Christmas with stories and music. We had a pretty good turnout and can happily report that there were no fires from the candles.
And, of course, California wouldn't be complete without a trip to Disneyland since my annual pass was about to expire. The Happiest Place on Earth was also the wettest place on earth. Rain, rain, rain. But no lines at least. Overall, it was great to see old friends and a little sad to realize how many are no longer in California. That's life. In the words of Keane, "Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same."
I also enjoyed staying with my aunt, uncle, and cousins in Huntington Beach and eating all the good food you can't get here (In-N-Out has no lines in California). It was a great break and a fun trip, though I have to admit I didn't get much enlightenment as to the next direction I should take in life. I've already applied to graduate school for next fall in dramatic writing. Since stories and the written word are what I love I decided I'm just going to go for it. I'm working on getting my middle reader's novel published as well. It's finally finished and I've already had some interested parties, I just have to shop it around more. Meanwhile I'm also looking for a job and am at my parent's house until I decide what new direction I'll take and where I'll go. Even though I feel pretty lost now and like everything's fallen apart, I'm still here. I find again that I can survive things I didn't necessarily think I could (I have to stop saying things out loud 'cause I think God hears me say it and then tests me.) But, you know, life still has much to offer at any point along it's track and I'm learning to be more grateful for all the things I have and for my personal journey. Everyone has their own path they have to follow and their own rhythm and timing and that's okay. I'm grateful for life, despite how hard it can be sometimes, and grateful to find light in so many dark places. (And I'm also grateful I still know how to spell grateful. It's been hi-jacked by too many texters, face-bookers, and the like to read greatful. Cute but no.)